Hospice Nurses Reveal the Word Patients Say Most Before Passing Away

Hospice care offers a unique and compassionate response to individuals approaching the end of their lives, focusing on easing physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering. Hospice nurses, who dedicate their careers to supporting both patients and their families through these transitions, witness some of the most intimate human moments. Over the years, many hospice caregivers have reported striking patterns observed in the final hours of life—one of which is the tendency of patients to utter a particular word before passing away.

According to Neal K. Shah, co-founder and CEO of CareYaya Health, this word is often “Mum.” Shah’s reflections, informed by years of hospice experience and supported by scientific research, reveal not just the universality of human longing for comfort, but also the profound neurological pathways involved in dying.

Understanding Hospice Care: Compassion at Life’s Threshold

Hospice care is a holistic approach designed for people with terminal illnesses. The goal is not to cure, but to provide exceptional comfort and dignity as life draws to a close. Hospice teams—comprised of nurses, doctors, social workers, and chaplains—create individualized plans to address pain management, emotional support, and spiritual needs. This care model emerged in the late 20th century, redefining the experience of dying and helping countless families navigate this difficult time.

For families, hospice nurses often become trusted guides. They ease fears, explain what to expect, and offer practical and emotional support. Their knowledge and presence can transform a potentially traumatic period into one of peace and reflection.

The Phenomenon of Final Words

Among the many patterns observed by hospice nurses, the repetition of calling for “Mum” stands out. Neal K. Shah, who has spent significant time at patients’ bedsides, notes that it is not just a rare or random occurrence. In his regularly shared insights, including a widely viewed Facebook video, Shah points out that patients—even those aged in their nineties, whose mothers had passed away decades prior—frequently utter this word shortly before death.

For Shah, this phenomenon is deeply resonant. He believes it is symbolic of humanity’s search for comfort, safety, and familiarity at life’s threshold. “There’s one word that hospice nurses hear again and again in a person’s final 24 hours. And once you learn what it is, it stays with you forever,” Shah says.

His perspective echoes a century’s worth of anecdotal observations, yet is increasingly supported by scientific study as well.

Scientific Studies and Comforting Visions

Neurobiologist Dr. Christopher Kerr and his research team conducted a decade-long study involving over 1,400 hospice patients in New York. Their findings, first published in peer-reviewed journals and later widely cited in media, shed new light on the experiences of individuals at life’s end. Dr. Kerr’s work revealed that more than 80% of these patients reported vivid dreams or visions in their final days. These experiences—often involving reunions with deceased loved ones, particularly mothers—provided a sense of comfort and peace.

The most striking detail was the frequency with which patients reached for their parent, most commonly their mother, regardless of how long ago she had died. This finding enthused neuroscientists, who hypothesized that the neural wiring associated with early childhood comfort and attachment persists even in advanced age.

“Even patients in their nineties, whose mothers had died more than 50 years earlier, often called for her in their final hours,” said Shah, referencing Dr. Kerr’s study. This suggests that the oldest and most primitive areas of the brain—responsible for foundational attachment and security—are the last to deteriorate as death approaches.

Shah puts it this way: “As the body shuts down, the oldest and most primitive parts of the brain are often the last to fade. And the wiring for mother—the first face that you ever loved, the first voice that ever calmed you—is buried in that deep layer. So, the dying brain reaches back for the very first safe place it ever knew.”

The Role of Family and Compassionate Communication

For families, witnessing these moments can be emotionally complex. Sometimes, loved ones are unsure how to respond when a patient reaches toward an unseen person or calls for a parent who is long deceased. Shah offers practical advice rooted in compassion. “If your parent or loved one starts calling for their own mother or reaching toward someone you can’t see, they aren’t confused. They might be gently transitioning,” he explains.

This guidance is built on the principle of supporting emotional needs without correcting or contradicting. Shah cautions that it is unnecessary—and often unhelpful—to remind the dying person that their mother is no longer alive. Instead, he suggests that families respond by affirming the presence and comfort that the patient experiences: “Say, ‘I’m so glad she’s here with you.’ You’re not lying, but you’re actually loving them through it.”

Hospice professionals widely agree that such moments are sacred and should be respected. As Shah stated in his Facebook video, “You are doing the most important work that any human being can do,” by offering presence and love as the person transitions.

Experts in palliative care stress that strong emotional support improves the quality of dying and can help families process their loss afterwards. Dr. Kerr and other researchers recommend that families allow the dying person to express these visions and feelings openly and without correction. This practice reduces anxiety and brings comfort, even in the midst of grief.

The Psychology Behind Final Words and Visions

The repeated calling for “Mum” or other beloved figures in the final moments is not merely a matter of sentiment—it ties deeply to psychological and neural processes. According to psychologists, attachment theory indicates that humans form strong bonds with caregivers in infancy, which shape emotional responses throughout life. These attachments do not diminish with time; instead, they become ingrained in brain circuits associated with safety and security.

As death approaches, the brain may revert to these early patterns as a means of comfort. This is consistent with observations of dying patients reaching for the most familiar and trusted presence, whether in dreams, visions, or speech.

Researchers speculate that these phenomena are part of the dying process, in which the brain prioritizes peace and closure. Vivid dreams and visions, often described by hospice patients, may involve reunions with deceased family, familiar childhood homes, or symbolic journeys—all of which provide solace and reassurance. These experiences are especially frequent in those with long-term illness or dementia, where the boundary between memory and present reality is blurred.

International Perspectives and Cultural Understandings

The experience of calling for “Mum” is observed across cultures, though the specifics may vary. In different societies, the dying may reach for fathers, caretakers, or spiritual figures depending on upbringing and beliefs. Nonetheless, the longing for familiar comfort is universal. In Western nations, hospice care is built to honor such needs, but internationally, similar support is often provided by family, spiritual leaders, or community care workers.

End-of-life visions and final words have been the subject of study in diverse cultures. Anthropological studies reveal that rituals and beliefs surrounding death can shape the content and character of these visions. For example, in some Asian cultures, dying individuals may see ancestors or spiritual protectors; in Indigenous communities, visions of the land or ancestors are common. The recurrence of loved ones, especially mothers, however, remains a global phenomenon.

Advice for Families and Caregivers

For those walking this path with a loved one, experts recommend several strategies:

• Accept and validate: Affirm whatever the dying person is seeing or feeling, unless it causes distress.
• Maintain presence: Simply being there, holding a hand, or speaking reassuringly is immensely valuable.
• Seek support: Utilize hospice counselors, support groups, or chaplains for guidance and emotional help.
• Remember self-care: Caring for someone dying is intense; look after your own wellbeing and seek respite when needed.

Families can also seek resources to help them navigate grief, plan memorials, and integrate the experience into their lives going forward. The legacy of hospice care is not only comfort for the dying, but ongoing support for survivors.

For those who experience these moments, sharing knowledge is a meaningful way to prepare and ease the process. Understanding that it is natural—and sometimes sacred—for a dying person to reach for a parent, especially “Mum,” can make the journey less frightening and more compassionate.

If you or someone you know is caring for a loved one in hospice, this insight may bring reassurance. While each passing is unique, the fundamental need for comfort and safety unites us all.

Expanding Knowledge and Discussing End-of-Life Care

Public understanding of hospice care is growing, thanks to education, scientific research, and the bravery of hospice nurses willing to share their stories. The more we learn about the psychological and neurological aspects of dying, the better equipped we are to support our loved ones and ourselves. Experts recommend discussing wishes and fears about death as part of life planning. These conversations help families provide the most comforting and meaningful support possible.

By honoring the experiences of hospice patients and the knowledge of caregivers, society can foster an environment in which death is not feared, but respectfully navigated. The last moments can become an opportunity for love, closure, and peace.

Further Reading

• Simulation shows what happens to body after death
• Research shows body senses death is near – it starts in nose

Sources

• BBC News Health
• Reuters Health
• World Health Organization (WHO) – Palliative Care
• CDC – National Center for Health Statistics
• Mayo Clinic – Hospice Care
• The Guardian – End-of-Life Research
• Al Jazeera Health

Disclaimer: This content is intended for entertainment purposes only and is not based on real events.