A city lawyer once decided to enjoy a quiet day hunting near a rural farm. He had barely settled into the countryside calm when he spotted a duck wandering across the farmer’s land. Confident and accustomed to getting his way, the lawyer raised his gun, took aim, and shot the duck.
The duck fell squarely onto the farmer’s property.
Moments later, the farmer came rumbling over on his tractor and calmly asked the lawyer what he thought he was doing. The lawyer, unfazed, explained that he had shot the duck fair and square and intended to take it home.
The farmer disagreed. According to him, the duck was now on his land, which meant it belonged to him.
As lawyers tend to do, the attorney immediately proposed settling the matter legally. The farmer scratched his head and suggested something else instead.
Around here, he explained, they followed something called the “Three Kick Rule.”
Curious and slightly amused, the lawyer asked what that meant.
The farmer explained that because the dispute happened on his land, he got to go first. He would kick the lawyer three times. Then the lawyer would kick him three times. They would alternate until one of them gave up.
The lawyer paused to think. He looked at the farmer—older, slower, clearly not in peak condition—and quickly decided this would be an easy victory. Confident in his physical advantage, he agreed.
The farmer climbed down from his tractor, walked slowly toward the lawyer, and without warning delivered his first kick.
The heavy work boot connected with brutal precision, dropping the lawyer to his knees in an instant.
Before the lawyer could recover, the farmer followed up with a second kick that left the attorney gasping and doubled over.
Still struggling to breathe, the lawyer was caught completely off guard by the third kick, which sent him stumbling forward and landing face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Silence followed.
The lawyer lay there for a moment, gathering every ounce of dignity and strength he had left. Eventually, he pushed himself up, wiped his jacket sleeve across his face, and glared at the farmer.
“Alright,” he said through clenched teeth. “Now it’s my turn.”
The farmer smiled calmly and shook his head.
“Nope,” he said. “I give up. You can have the duck.”
A Confident Genius Makes a Costly Bet
In another corner of the world, a self-proclaimed genius crossed paths with someone he confidently labeled an idiot. Feeling smug and intellectually superior, the genius proposed a wager.
For every question the genius asked that the other man couldn’t answer, the so-called idiot would have to pay five dollars. But if the idiot asked a question the genius couldn’t answer, the genius would owe him five thousand dollars.
The idiot thought about it briefly and agreed.
The genius wasted no time. His first question was simple.
“How many continents are there in the world?”
The idiot scratched his head, thought for a moment, and admitted he didn’t know. Without complaint, he handed over five dollars.
Feeling triumphant, the genius leaned back, already imagining how easily he would dominate this game.
Then it was the idiot’s turn.
He asked calmly, “What animal stands on two legs but sleeps on three?”
The genius froze.
He thought about animals, biology, posture, logic, metaphors—everything he could think of. Minutes passed. He searched his memory for something obscure. He tried reasoning his way through it. Nothing worked.
Eventually, the genius sighed, admitted defeat, and handed over five thousand dollars.
Trying to salvage at least some dignity, he asked, “Alright, what was the answer?”
Without hesitation, the idiot handed him five dollars.
A Boss, a Phone Call, and a Very Quiet Child
One morning, a company boss noticed that one of his most reliable employees hadn’t shown up for work. There had been no phone call, no message, and no explanation.
Concerned—and needing an urgent work issue resolved—the boss decided to call the employee’s home.
The phone rang, and a small, whispering voice answered.
“Hello.”
Surprised, the boss asked gently, “Is your daddy home?”
“Yes,” the child whispered.
Relieved, the boss said, “May I talk to him?”
“No,” whispered the child.
Confused, the boss asked, “Is your mum there?”
“Yes.”
“May I talk with her?”
“No.”
Now truly puzzled, the boss asked if anyone else was there.
“Yes,” the child whispered. “A policeman.”
Alarm bells began ringing in the boss’s mind.
“May I speak to the policeman?” he asked.
“No,” the child replied softly. “He’s busy.”
“Busy doing what?” the boss asked.
“Talking to mummy and daddy and the fireman,” came the whisper.
The boss felt a knot form in his stomach. In the background, he could hear a strange, loud sound.
“What is that noise?” he asked urgently.
“A helicopter,” the child whispered.
At this point, the boss was thoroughly alarmed.
“What on earth is going on over there?” he demanded.
The child let out a small, muffled giggle.
“The search team just landed a helicopter.”
The boss nearly dropped the phone.
“What are they searching for?” he asked.
Still whispering, the child replied, “Me.”
Why These Jokes Still Work
What makes jokes like these timeless isn’t shock or cruelty—it’s contrast. Each story builds expectations carefully, then flips them in unexpected ways.
The lawyer assumes intelligence and status will protect him. The genius assumes knowledge guarantees victory. The boss assumes authority gives him control over information. In each case, confidence becomes the setup for the punchline.
These jokes also rely on rhythm. They take their time, letting the listener follow a logical path before gently—or abruptly—pulling the rug out.
Most importantly, they remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. Whether it’s pride, intellect, or authority, a little humility goes a long way—and sometimes, it saves you from losing your duck, your money, or your reputation.
If you’re ever in need of a light moment, stories like these prove that laughter doesn’t need to be complicated. It just needs good timing and a willingness to laugh at human nature itself.